He examined my knee and shook his head.
"I'm sorry, I can't help you," he said, "This is a psychosomatic injury."
He referred me to a placebo doctor. I was dubious, I admit.
The Placebo Clinic looked and felt extremely comfortable and professional. It looked more like a doctor's office than the actual doctor's office.
The doctor, "Alvin Presley, P.M.D.," who used to work either in marketing or as a cult leader, asked me all about my symptoms, and ran some scientific-seeming but unabashedly spurious tests. He then prescribed a carefully-measured dosage of sugar pills, with very specific instructions on how to take them.
The whole experience was atisfying and pleasant, and I recovered soon after. The only sad thing is that they didn't accept Monopoly money.