The place was packed, of course. Nerd dates are "in."
"Tonight," began the lecturer, "I'll explain the role of the Ovo-Lacto-Historian. The field of Ovo-Lacto-Historianism began when scholars observed that every important piece of history can be analyzed, in concrete terms, based on the production and sales of eggs and dairy products in different regions. For instance, periods of great exploration are marked by an increase in cheese production, and depressions often lead to a reduction in egg consumption. The Ovo-Lacto-Historian looks at agricultural records, evidence of farm tools, and mentions of food consumption in stories and legends to gather new insight into history."
Someone raised a hand. The lecturer paused. "Yes, I see we have a question."
A student stood up and looked around. Then he nervously asked, "Uh, what about regions where the local diet doesn't include eggs or dairy?"
The lecturer rolled her eyes in contempt. "Obviously, by very definition, nothing that happens in those regions could be important."
Then we left. I don't like rude lecturers.