Ted ([info]merovingian) wrote,
@ 2007-03-22 13:15:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Sometimes you're the floss, sometimes you're the painting of Mt. Fuji.
March is apparently questions month. Ask me anything!

1. Comment to ask a question. I am screening anonymous posting so you don't have to worry that you might somehow be anonymous.

2. You can ask any question, no matter how private it may seem.

3. Then go through comments and answer someone else's question.

4. Please lie.

5. While answering and lying, please also pretend to be Matteo Ricci or a furry lobster or Ayn Rand or maybe the E8 Lie group. Or Johnny Appleseed would be good too.

6. If someone answers your question, try to guess who they're pretending to be. If you're wrong, you have to fight.

(Post a new comment)


[info]prester_scott
2007-03-22 08:33 pm UTC (link)
My question:
Have you stopped being an evil robot?

My answer to someone else's comment that I haven't read yet:
A=A.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

[info]bitterjesus
2007-03-22 09:38 pm UTC (link)
Evil robots never stop! Furthermore, evil is merely a manifestation of your own inability to excel.

Sucka.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]prester_scott
2007-03-22 09:46 pm UTC (link)
Indeed, I do NOT pity the fool.

(Reply to this)(Parent)
What the hell is this all about?
[info]clintiskeen
2007-03-22 08:39 pm UTC (link)

(Reply to this)(Thread)
Re: What the hell is this all about?
[info]bitterjesus
2007-03-22 09:39 pm UTC (link)
He ate god's burrito, and the divine foodstuff clearly overcame him.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]cityratbuddy
2007-03-22 08:47 pm UTC (link)
Ted, how old were you when you lost your virginity?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

[info]dachte
2007-03-22 08:51 pm UTC (link)
Dear cityratbuddy,
The XXXXXX has pondered your question deeply and has the following answer.
He was 34, but he was living in an alternate reality at the time and it was with [info]merowinkian, so it was legal. You owe the XXXXXX XXXXXX a squeegee and a clown nose.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]cityratbuddy
2007-03-22 09:31 pm UTC (link)
You're imitating Joan Rivers!!!!

(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]42itous
2007-03-23 11:47 am UTC (link)
He's imitating the Oracle, who most definitely wasn't on the list. Anyway, where's Lisa?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]dachte
2007-03-23 02:44 pm UTC (link)
The Usenet Oracle is on every list, and admitted to every club and private gathering!

(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]dachte
2007-03-22 08:48 pm UTC (link)
My intensely personal question: What does Dalek lingerie look like, and how do you know?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

[info]crisper
2007-03-23 12:31 am UTC (link)
What it looks like depends on your position in 57-space. Fortunately, in the large majority of those positions - BUT NOT ALL OF THEM - it is symmetrical.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]kinkyturtle
2007-03-23 04:29 am UTC (link)
Is that Heinz 57-space?

(Reply to this)(Parent)
My question . . .
[info]bitterjesus
2007-03-22 09:27 pm UTC (link)
Could god make a burrito so large than even he couldn't finish it?

(Reply to this)(Thread)
Re: My question . . .
[info]figbash
2007-03-23 01:49 am UTC (link)
He tried once, that's what caused the big bang.

Hail Air!

(Reply to this)(Parent)
Re: My question . . .
[info]datan0de
2007-03-23 01:29 pm UTC (link)
This question vexes me.

There is no burrito yet made that I could not finish. This puts me in a superior position to God, and therefore makes me God as well!

Me being God means that I am all-powerful and all-knowing! My will is made manifest in the very universe itself! Yet I'm also an atheist, and by disbelieving in my own existance I become nonexistent and impotent.

So in the space of a single stream of thought, I go from [info]datan0de to God to nothing at all, all because of my love of Mexican food and your damnable hypothetical God-slaying burrito!

*sulk*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Re: My question . . .
[info]bitterjesus
2007-03-23 03:29 pm UTC (link)
Ayn Rand?

(Reply to this)(Parent)
spoiler contained in userpic
[info]elynne
2007-03-22 10:01 pm UTC (link)
My question is: when I answer a question, can I be something else?

(Reply to this)(Thread)
Re: spoiler contained in userpic
[info]bitterjesus
2007-03-22 10:20 pm UTC (link)
Howdy!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Re: spoiler contained in userpic
[info]elynne
2007-03-22 10:43 pm UTC (link)
Hiyah! :D

(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]crisper
2007-03-23 12:30 am UTC (link)
What should I do about bugs in my manifold? Note that I am allergic to glycol. And don't nobody tell me about an apple a day cause I hate that shit.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

[info]cityratbuddy
2007-03-23 02:29 am UTC (link)
Install a small filter to catch the bugs before they enter the manifold. I used to bullseye manifolds in my T-16 back home. You need that filter.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]bitterjesus
2007-03-23 03:32 pm UTC (link)
No, no, he said "bugs," not "proton torpedoes." Although, in fairness, I often get those confused, myself, since I used to live in Florida.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]favoriteplum
2007-03-26 06:22 pm UTC (link)
Take a lesson from monkeys.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]crisper
2007-03-26 06:29 pm UTC (link)
I'd rather take candy from a baby!

(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]figbash
2007-03-23 01:52 am UTC (link)
Ted,

(How well do you really know me...) Which of these instruments am I proficient at?
a) The piano
b) The drums
c) Air drums
d) Air guitar

(Reply to this)(Thread)

[info]hopelesswriter
2007-03-23 03:27 am UTC (link)
e) Air.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]figbash
2007-03-23 03:48 am UTC (link)
You know me too well. Shhhhh

(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]hopelesswriter
2007-03-23 03:27 am UTC (link)
Dear Ted,
Which?
Love, Shana

(Reply to this)

[info]kinkyturtle
2007-03-23 04:30 am UTC (link)
Why do you hate America?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

[info]eyeteeth
2007-03-23 06:24 am UTC (link)
Because a woman is running for president! I warned you people about that! No one listens.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]perlandria
2007-03-23 09:36 am UTC (link)
What is the airspeed of an unladen swallow?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

[info]withoutahow
2007-03-23 03:03 pm UTC (link)
Depends on who you're flying with.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]42itous
2007-03-23 11:50 am UTC (link)
What is the different between a duck?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

[info]prester_scott
2007-03-23 02:40 pm UTC (link)
Viaduct?

(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]withoutahow
2007-03-23 03:02 pm UTC (link)
What do evil robots dream of?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

[info]bitterjesus
2007-03-23 03:30 pm UTC (link)
Sadistic, electric sheep.

"You've been baaaaaaaaad. Exterminate!"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]withoutahow
2007-03-26 01:16 pm UTC (link)
You're a vacuous, alien, laughibly insecure saltshaker and if you come near me with that whisk again...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]merovingian
2007-03-26 06:35 pm UTC (link)
Be nice!

(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]merovingian
2007-03-26 06:36 pm UTC (link)
Oh wait. Nevermind.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Create an Account
Forgot your login?
Login w/ OpenID
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…