Ted (merovingian) wrote,
Ted
merovingian

All I Really Need To Know

...I Learned in Parodies of "All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten". (NOTE: Some links contain ads.)


1. Be obvious.
2. Don't fear the wrong things.
3. Sometimes, despite what your mother may tell you, it is beneficial to sleep for three weeks at a time.
4. Everybody dies frustrated and sad and that is beautiful.
5. Untrustworthy people are always immediately identifiable by their name alone.
6. Don’t forget to jump up and down.
7. Never fall in love with a psychic.
8. Never blog when you are drunk.
9. No outside force ever harms the Coyote other than his own ineptitude.
10. The floating stuff tastes good.
11. There's no use fighting the establishment. Conform now.
12. Allow the antagonist his humanity.
13. Over time, criticals and fumbles will balance out.
14. When two people are talking to each other, getting to know each other, they tend to spout off all kinds of nonsense when what they are thinking is something entirely different.
15. Be ready to go low-tech.
16. If you think you are too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito.
17. Strafe and stick to the walls.
18. Behind every possible fun activity lurks the prospect of sickness, disease, injury, or death.
19. Sometimes "nuthin'" can be a real cool hand.
20. Reasonable hypothesis, bizarre conclusions.
21. Identity is meaningful, transitional, and communal.
22. Never summon anything that's bigger than your head.
23. Teddy bears are your friend.

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