Ted (merovingian) wrote,
Ted
merovingian

Things I learned from my first day of translating the 2007 IRS tax codes into Assyrian:

1. Assyrian is more than a simple rot13 code, translation cypher, or clever font change, as I'd originally imagined. It's like they have a different word for everything!

2. Certified Public Accounts are very busy and unlikely to help in endeavors like these.

3. Ancient Assyrians are very hard to find and unlikely to help in endeavors like these.

4. Dolphins don't have to pay taxes!

5. You know how I said they have a different word for everything? Well, not quite true. I'm having trouble finding an Assyrian word (or phrase) for "capital gains tax." Or "ammortize." Or "hybrid vehicle incentive."

6. The me of pure-hand-washing does me no good in this situation.

7. There isn't a me for capital gains tax, ammortization or hybrid vehicle incentives either.

8. It's nice to be outside in the park when it's sunny, especially if you're doing something difficult.

9. Gilgamesh was a transhumanist.

10. Clay tablets are heavy and the 2007 tax code is very long.

11. You can always count on your friend-adversaries to provide you with opposition-help! Thanks-curses!

I'll keep you all up to date with my progress! Please keep opposing me!
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