Ted (merovingian) wrote,
Ted
merovingian

The Bat

I was having one of those days where I wanted some kind of goods or services, so I went to the nearby corner convenience store. The proprietor is a starfish.

"Do you have an automatic ATM teller machine?" I asked him.

He pointed with one of his five arms at the Brobdignagian contraption in the corner. "It runs all day without access to the power grid," he said, "It's nucular."

On the way home, I saw many pigeons in the park.

Poll #1163547 The Murder Mystery

Who killed me?

editors
5(10.4%)
marine biologists
0(0.0%)
Jonathan Swift
2(4.2%)
the pigeons
3(6.2%)
The Velvet Underground
3(6.2%)
Melpominee, the Muse of Tragedy
7(14.6%)
the narrative principle
5(10.4%)
the butler
0(0.0%)
Miss Peacock
5(10.4%)
the starfish
1(2.1%)
Hercule Poirot
3(6.2%)
American consumer culture
4(8.3%)
Johnny Voodoo
0(0.0%)
the Juno soundtrack
6(12.5%)
a surprise twist culprit! (please explain in comments)
4(8.3%)

Where?

the convenience store
2(4.2%)
the park
1(2.1%)
my home
2(4.2%)
the text of the narrative
7(14.6%)
my own funeral
5(10.4%)
The Orient Express
1(2.1%)
the castle
1(2.1%)
the conservatory
5(10.4%)
the billiards room
0(0.0%)
the board game Clue
1(2.1%)
The Free market
5(10.4%)
this entry's comments page
3(6.2%)
wherever Angela Lansbury was
8(16.7%)
the Rue de la Morgue
5(10.4%)
a surprise twist location! (please explain in comments)
2(4.2%)

How?

a candlestick
3(6.2%)
poison
1(2.1%)
a MacGuffin
2(4.2%)
author fiat
3(6.2%)
alpha radiation
1(2.1%)
gamma radiation
1(2.1%)
an ourang-outan
4(8.3%)
a robot
2(4.2%)
the English language
6(12.5%)
kindness
5(10.4%)
slowly prying my outer shell apart
5(10.4%)
spoilers
1(2.1%)
being a goldfish all along
7(14.6%)
the sound of one hand clapping
4(8.3%)
a surprise twist MO! (please explain in comments)
3(6.2%)


If you need more hints, you can ask yes-or-no questions in the comments. I won't answer them but maybe someone else will.

Comments wishing me a speedy recovery are very welcome.
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