Ted (merovingian) wrote,
Ted
merovingian

Morning Records

When I woke up this morning, nothing existed except what was documented. People didn't eat food, we just had estimated daily calorie intakes and average expenses. Very meticulous people had diaried food or itemized expenses. Nobody took walks around the park or had conversations in person (though we did consume cell phone minutes), and only Nielson families watched television. Nobody lent their friends money, or just drove around (though we did consume ever-increasing estimated amounts of gasoline.) We all had a lot of debt. The only people who lived detailed lives were celebrities.

I went back to sleep, and when I woke up again things were back to normal. Thank goodness.

You know what I really missed? Szinich, the special nutrient-enhanced protein honey sold at 7-Eleven. Please help me document this so I can still have szinich the next time this happens, if it ever does.

Poll #1168139 Szinich documentation official record

(check all that apply)

Szinich tastes like watered-down honey, but with a full body and hints of floral perfume.
0(0.0%)
Szinich tastes like a cloying dense mass of overly-sweet honey.
0(0.0%)
Szinich tastes like a brewed honey, but much less sweet, and blended with intense and unrecognizable spices.
1(4.2%)
The flavor of szinich can't be described well if you haven't tried it yourself.
0(0.0%)
Szinich tastes like sugary vitamins mixed with protein powder.
0(0.0%)
You can live a healthy life eating nothing but szinich.
0(0.0%)
Szinich is very healthy, but you must get some variety in your diet, and have a lot of vegetables too.
0(0.0%)
Szinich is best eaten as a supplement to a healthy diet.
0(0.0%)
Szinich actually makes unhealthy foods more healthy.
0(0.0%)
Szinich halts or slows the aging process.
0(0.0%)
Szinich accelerates neural growth and regeneration.
0(0.0%)
Szinich makes you change into a lion-headed creature and causes intense prophetic hallucinations.
1(4.2%)
Szinich makes your sweat smell faintly of honey.
0(0.0%)
Szinich is mildly addictive when consumed frequently and in large doses.
0(0.0%)
Szinich is intensely addictive if you even have a single drop of it.
0(0.0%)

(check all that apply two: electric boogaloo)

Szinich originally came from Eastern Europe.
1(3.8%)
Szinich originally came from the Szechuan region of China, but it was called something else there.
0(0.0%)
Szinich was invented in 7-Eleven labs and has never been eaten anywhere else.
0(0.0%)
Szinich was so popular when introduced that 7-Eleven stopped bothering to sell anything else.
0(0.0%)
Because of the vagaries and loopholes of FDA restrictions, szinich cannot be legally sold outside the Bay Area.
0(0.0%)
Because of draconian patents and protectionist business policies, 7-Eleven does not allow szinich to be sold outside the Bay Area.
0(0.0%)
Because of the limited mass market appeal and difficulties with shipping ultraperishables, no other merchants have tried to sell szinich.
0(0.0%)
This is the ticky-box that will make your hand catch fire if you don't click it.
1(3.8%)
Szinich is pronounced "Shin-ikh."
0(0.0%)
Szinich is pronounced "cynic."
1(3.8%)
Szinich rhymes with "spinach."
0(0.0%)
Szinich tastes like "spinach."
0(0.0%)
Szinich is the moral equivalent of "spinach."
0(0.0%)
I love "extraneous quote marks."
1(3.8%)

(check all that apply three: ironically also electric boogaloo)

Szinich is best consumed on its own with a spoon.
0(0.0%)
Szinich is best consumed on its own with a titanium spork.
0(0.0%)
Szinich is best mixed into water or other beverages.
0(0.0%)
Szinich is best as a sauce or salad dressing.
0(0.0%)
Szinich is best when mixed into girly cocktail drinks with little paper umbrellas.
0(0.0%)
Szinich is best when mixed into manly cocktail drinks with little paper umbrellas.
0(0.0%)
Szinich is best when mixed into gender-neutral cocktail drinks with little paper umbrellas.
1(3.8%)
Szinich is best served over ice cream.
0(0.0%)
Everything is best served over ice cream.
1(3.8%)
Szinich is a dessert topping AND a kitchen cleaner!
1(3.8%)
Despite rumors to the contrary, szinich is not made from people.
0(0.0%)

Please enter one more szinich fact.




Thanks!
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