Ted (merovingian) wrote,
Ted
merovingian

For my birthday, I like to stop and appreciate the good things in my life. Accountability is important for justice, but if you never acknowledge the warm things, it's just ice. (Because appreciating the good things in life prevents awkward extraneous spaces.)

A sampler platter:

Plutonium! I live in a house made of it. We trained the atoms to be more stable and not decay all over the place, so they keep a lot longer and they won't kill us. Then we trained them to look like wood. It was a lot of work, but the results really show. Good atoms!

Babies! It seems like all my friends are having babies lately, and at age one, they all turn into adorable ducks and fly away to Ducktown on the other side of the lake. But not in a sad way!

Robots! Ever since municipal law decreed that robots could be elected to city positions, we've had machines optimized for civil service. I for one welcome our new robotic underlords!

Lists! I made a list recently of all the lists I have, but then I realized I would have to list the list itself, and that seemed like it was trouble. So I decided just to list all the lists that do not include themselves. Now I'm a barber!

Justice! It was a hot day today and I was thirsty so I got some lemonade, but it was warm so I chipped off a few cold cubes of justice and the lemonade was nice and cool, sweating with summertime refreshment.

Boats! When I went to the grocery store there was a rowboat just sitting there in the parking lot. I got in and started rowing and I rowed through the parking lot and into the supermarket and then into the organic apricots bin and then I rowed backward through time until the rowboat and the apricots were part of the same tree. And so was I!

Skin! It's much better than aluminum foil! At least, for covering your flesh and bones.

Lentils! They're kind of lens shaped, so they're lenticular. Is this a coincidence?

Soylent Green! This stuff is delicious! Based on the name I'm assuming it's made from soybeans and lentils. There's nothing that could spoil my birthday enjoyment of this wholesome, nutritious, tasty treat!

Bathypelagic Fish! Someone taught them to use IRC. It's like Jacques Cousteau all over again.

How about you?
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