Ted ([info]merovingian) wrote,
@ 2008-07-23 11:32:00
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I'm told that conversational lulls happen every 7 minutes. I'm also told that this is positive and instinctive - everyone is taking a break to listen for the sound of a predator.

Lately, every conversational lull has led to the sudden appearance of flying air-piranhas. They're more irritating than dangerous, but what bugs me is this: how do they know?

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[info]ianhess
2008-07-24 07:43 am UTC (link)
Evolutionary descendants of byhakee, dontcha know.

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[info]inkylj
2008-07-24 05:30 pm UTC (link)
Hmm, it seems to me they're more like conversational hounds of tindalos. Which is why some people refuse to ever stop talking.

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[info]ianhess
2008-07-24 05:46 pm UTC (link)
Interesting point, but, I'd argue that our words run together when heard from other angles. Some names are just very very long.

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[info]chuck_lw
2008-07-24 07:46 am UTC (link)
See?

My friends never appreciate it when I take up a position right outside their cozy little group, stand around like a meerkat, and watch the horizon for predators.

Because you never know -- those saber-toothed cats that hunted us back in Africa thousands of years could always make a comeback.

And, of course, there's always the reptoids.

And zombies.

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[info]the_leewit
2008-07-24 09:13 am UTC (link)
I think you have the cause wrong. Might these not be the same species of air piranha that were designed by scientists who believe that awkward truths must be told? The ones that prey upon waitstaff who invariably descend upon a table when the conversation gets intense, and one is just plucking up the courage to tell your significant other that, beatified or not, the body of St. Mathilde is now technically a zombie and an abomination in the eyes of nature and your mother and must go before she devours the last of the housepets?

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[info]the_leewit
2008-07-24 09:16 am UTC (link)
That is, the piranhas are attacking the waitstaff. It used to be the scientists directly protecting your thread of conversation, as well as making certain your entree was not absconded with before you were quite finished, but there was always awkwardness about who should pick up the check afterwards.

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[info]lady_gray
2008-07-24 09:38 am UTC (link)
It's an evolutionarily-advantageous response for air piranhas to listen for lulls in human conversation. This should have been obvious.

Also, they are rabid, high-strung eavesdroppers, and if you stop talking, they will often savage your ears out of frustration. Be warned. The worse things you say about your coworkers, the less likely you will fall prey to their conniving social machinations. And mastications.

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[info]ambug666
2008-07-24 01:24 pm UTC (link)
They were inspired by the songs of Simon and Garfunkle.

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[info]drwex
2008-07-24 05:35 pm UTC (link)
Oh that's easy. They don't "know" - they're instinctual predators. But for some reason the sounds of multiple human voices are painful to them, so they simply cannot bear to approach during conversations.

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[info]kitten_goddess
2008-07-24 05:35 pm UTC (link)
If you only speak well of others, they will get bored and go away to Hollywood and eat obnoxious celebrities.

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[info]cityratbuddy
2008-07-24 06:10 pm UTC (link)
I think the air-piranhas are actually trying to eat Lincoln's ghost, and that's the reason they arrive during the lulls.

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[info]wyrdling
2008-07-24 06:34 pm UTC (link)
i'd daresay i'd wonder why you unconsciously know when the flying piranhas are coming...?

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[info]mechanolatry
2008-07-24 10:02 pm UTC (link)
In Pennsylvania, it's dragonflies. And we are also perplexed as to how they know to appear in those moments of tense silence. Maybe they smell the fear? or maybe, like us, it is instinctual.


I never realized that dragonflies were hunting me. I must be more prepared.


Thank you for the warning.

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[info]uber_pochacco
2008-07-25 01:52 am UTC (link)
They just do it for the lulz.

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