These dials measure their own pointlessness. The power the whole machine sucks from the plug goes out of the house and contributes to lightning storms on the other side of the planet. The more you press on the pedals, the more thrust the machine puts into the pedal-ignoring device. The lights blink to indicate that no one is looking at them. The control panel carefully analyzes and displays the least helpful information at any given time. The clock counts down to the machine's own obsolescence.
The only good news is you can still kind of use it for an egg timer. Somehow, the eggs taste much better when you time them with this.