Ted (merovingian) wrote,
Ted
merovingian

Talent, or Luck?

The other morning, my boss called me into his office and told me I'd been transferred to the Danish World Cup Soccer Team. He handed me a one-way ticket to Kopenhagen, and I got all in his face about it.

Didn't I have a say in this? I don't speak Danish, I hate sports, I'm clumsy, and I've got a happy life here in California.

He gave me a smile, and gestured to the charts.

It took me an hour to work through the calculus, but the results amounted to this: tracking my movements against news articles, the stastics showed that the closer to me a person was, the more likely that person would be to riot. Of course, there's about a thousand other people who fit that description worldwide. Thirty percent of them were already World Cup players, and the rest were being recruited, by any means necessary. Maybe it's a statistic anomaly, and it's bound to happen that some people will just happen to be closer to a few riots and make those results, like, the way that the World Series/Stock Market correlation just happens to go, but, nonetheless, there's the World Cup thing, and so they wanted me.

And, of course, I didn't have a say in this.

Now, two days later, I'm fast and athletic, speak the language fluently, and have all the naturalization papers.

And they bought me a donkey.

I guess it's a pretty good deal.
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