"Looking for a new friend. Interests to include: Digging up ant hills, eating the queen, leaving right afterwards."
Naturally I had to answer. I hate ants with a burning and destructive passion, because of species loyalty. In terms of climate, food, and so on, they're awfully close to our ecological niche, and I find that threatening. Even more threatening, I think they may be more adaptable than we are. End result: Bitter hatred. I imagine the neanderthals felt much the same way, back in the day. Maybe polar bears do, too.
Anyway, I answered the ad. It was a luminous and unearthly beautiful entity, of course. Posthuman. Genetic? Sorcerous? Fictional? Who knows? I left pretty quickly when they said I must be very special to answer the ad.
There's no compliment more demeaning than "special." Nothing is special unless it's somehow marginalized. I left in a huff, and I'm thinking about making peace with the ants instead, just to be petty.