My spirit totem is The Wacky Neighbor. He requires that I not allow sappy boughs to droop over the fence, and occasion cups of sugar. In exchange, he offers comic relief after I've had a heartwarming confrontation with family members, and, more importantly, a sense of consistency in my life.
Other popular totems include The Gay Best Friend, The Caring Boss, The Friendly Ethnic Deli Owner, The Flattered Minor Celebrity Who Returns Your Emails, The White Rapper, and The Likeable Candy Raver.
Asides aside, I told my totem that I was looking for the Worst Little Whorehouse in Texas.
He said he'd tell me, but only if I could answer his question correctly. "Look, if you had one shot," he asked, "or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted - one moment - would you capture it or just let it slip?"
I got the answer wrong, so I'm going to answer differently next time.
Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted - one moment - would you...
Who is your popular totem spirit guide?
What does your totem require of you?
What does your totem offer you in return?
Why are there so many ants?