Ted (merovingian) wrote,

I was visiting a friend in Lexington, Kentucky, for the past few days. We were at a cafe when a giant swan, two hundred feet high, came thundering down the road, smashing cars and gobbling people up. We left quickly, of course.

I went to the police chief about it. "There's not much we can do," he said, "If we tried to get rid of it, the thing would cause more damage than it would if we just left it alone and stayed out of its way. Besides, it's such a noble, graceful animal."

I went to the chief newspaper editor about it. "It's not really front page news, you know," she said, "For starters, it's confusing. Everyone knows swans are peaceful animals. People want stories with ugly villains, not swans. Maybe if it was a giant spider, we'd have a story, but this story just won't move papers. Or even a lizard."

I went to the mayor about it. "It would be a public relations nightmare," she said, "We've had this giant swan in town for seventeen years now. If the nation found out about it, it would be an embarassment to the city of Lexington, and swan-removal is an expensive and messy process. Besides, it's usually pretty safe, since the swan sleeps a lot. You should just admire its splendor, and try to avoid being crushed."

Then we got back to my friend's house.

"I am amazed and appalled," I said, "That everyone could just ignore a giant swan for seventeen years."

"Oh, you get use to it," my friend replied, "I'm actually a lot more amazed that you managed to get appointments with the police chief, the chief editor and the mayor, all on a day's notice."

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