Ted (merovingian) wrote,


I was hanging out with an onion and an iceberg this afternoon, having lunch.

"I'm more than just a metaphor about being a bigger threat than I seem," said the iceberg, "Why can't an iceberg be a metaphor for slow graceful movement? Or for being large but mobile? Or for reflecting light beautifully? I've been type-cast into irrelevence."

"I know what you mean," said the onion, "Onions are multi-layered, right? Peel back one layer and you'll just find more layers. Every day, that's all I hear. What about my great flavor? Or the way I taste like an apple when you hold your nose? Or my beautiful green leaves when allowed to grow? There's a lot of great metaphors about onions, but nobody bothers."

"I feel so misunderstood," said the iceberg. The onion sighed in sad agreement.

I smiled sympathetically.

"It must be hard to be an onion or an iceberg," I said.

"Goodness boy howdy!" they both exclaimed in surprised unison. "A talking human!"

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