Well, this afternoon I finally found the boss of it all. The whole operation was being organized from a small Colorado radio station. The investigation finally paid off. Thanks for all your tips, folks! I couldn't have done it without you.
My assistant, Leopold, successfully fought off all the guards while I casually marched into the office of the Big Boss, carrying a suitcase full of evidence.
It was a tall pint glass, full of top-shelf imported vodka. It had been running the show all along. Surprise mystery twist ending!
I slammed the briefcase down onto the big oak desk, looked the potato vodka right in the eye, and said...