Ted (merovingian) wrote,
Ted
merovingian

I stopped by city hall, and went to the City Armchair Philosopher's office. The city had extra money and was worried they'd get less next year if they didn't spend it, so they created a series of sinecures. My favorite is the Professional Budget Waster, whose job is to make excess money. But the Armchair Philosopher is good too. He was scribbling madly when I walked in, but stopped to speak to me.

"There are two kinds of people in the world," he said, in a way that indicated that he was sharing very important, amazing information, "People who love new things, just for their newness, and people who hate new things, just for their newness."

In case you're wondering, no, there was no Armchair. The city didn't have enough budget in Facilities to get one, and they certainly couldn't transfer the excess money out of Staffing.

"People who love new things are doomed to be unhappy, because they'll need constant change and eventually they'll run out of productive positive ways to change, and start becoming reckless or listless or both. People who hate new things are doomed to be unhappy, because they can't really improve their situation, so they can either improve things in their life, which makes them unhappy because of the change, or leave things as they are, which results in a steady decline."

"Uh, but what about the many people who are happy? There's a lot of happiness out in the world."

He looked surprised and annoyed. Then he regained his composure.

"I don't know," he said, "Drat."

I want you to know that your tax dollars are being spent well
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