"There are two kinds of people in the world," he said, in a way that indicated that he was sharing very important, amazing information, "People who love new things, just for their newness, and people who hate new things, just for their newness."
In case you're wondering, no, there was no Armchair. The city didn't have enough budget in Facilities to get one, and they certainly couldn't transfer the excess money out of Staffing.
"People who love new things are doomed to be unhappy, because they'll need constant change and eventually they'll run out of productive positive ways to change, and start becoming reckless or listless or both. People who hate new things are doomed to be unhappy, because they can't really improve their situation, so they can either improve things in their life, which makes them unhappy because of the change, or leave things as they are, which results in a steady decline."
"Uh, but what about the many people who are happy? There's a lot of happiness out in the world."
He looked surprised and annoyed. Then he regained his composure.
"I don't know," he said, "Drat."
I want you to know that your tax dollars are being spent well