"Which topping will be best for you?" I asked the ice cream in my desperation.
"The caramel," said the ice cream.
I stared in surprise.
"Uh, who said that?"
"Me!" said the ice cream, "The magical talking ice cream. It turns out that all ice cream can talk, it's just considered very rude to talk to people unless addressed directly."
"Wow! I better get you in the fridge fast! Magical talking ice cream is very special!" I said enthusiastically.
The ice cream was, well, totally immobile and lacking any sort of vocal cords, but its intonation sounded sad, "Please don't send me back to the freezer!" it said, "The purpose of ice cream is to be eaten!"
"But isn't that analogous to death?" I asked.
"Being without purpose is analogous to death," said the ice cream. But I put the bowl back in the freezer. Try it! Talk to your ice cream. I think I could make some serious money on this.
Is that wrong?