Ted (merovingian) wrote,

Conversations in the Supermarket Line

"It was pretty simple," she said, "We used an MRI machine to do a brain scan on a statistically significant number of gurus and enlightened masters. Then, we used transcranial magnetic stimulation to induce the same brain state in ourselves."

"So you achieved true enlightenment in less than an hour?" I asked her.

"Yes! And it sucks! Now I spend all my time chopping wood and carrying water. And vinegar tastes as good as honey now! What's the point? I could save money on my food budget, but I've transcended the need for money, too."

"If you hate it so much," I asked her, "Why do you have such a serene smile?"

"I can't help it! I'm stuck in this stupid blissful harmony with All Creation now! My favorite action flicks do nothing for me, and I just can't help but to be all smug all the time."

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