Ted (merovingian) wrote,
Ted
merovingian

Start Wearing Purple

"It is not just poker," the alien said to me last month on our weekly phone chat, "It's Texas Hold 'Em. Your standard five-card stud does not compare - to win at that little game, you need to know the rules, some statistics, and a few good strategy notes. Well, you need to know all that for Texas Hold 'Em too, but there's more. Texas Hold 'Em judges your character. To win at Texas Hold 'Em, you need luck and skill, too, but you also need courage, empathy, subterfuge, caution and character. Texas Hold 'Em is your species' closest approximation to telepathic combat."

"Huh," I said, "What's the second closest approximation?"

"Gypsy punk rock," the alien said without pause or inflection. The alien doesn't say anything without researching alternatives first. It's one of the reasons we get along.

We devised a poker strategy. We've already got a poker player we're planning to coach - he's a decent but not exceptional player, at the bottom of the professional circuit. The easy part was a betting method, and the cards - we basically used a standard strategy.

The key of this strategy was personal interaction. The player was to speak in a constant squeaky cartoonish voice, roll his eyes wildly, make inappropriate hand gestures, clench his teeth constantly, and whistle off-tune. In short, the player should endeavor to make all his actions incomprehensible and distracting.

He's taking the strategy to the road starting tomorrow night. Wish us luck!
Subscribe

  • Lessons from Frank Sinatra

    New York, New York: If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. Therefore, if there's a place you cannot make it, you cannot make it in New…

  • An Open Letter

    Invert the Invertebrate is not a real game. This is not subject to discussion. Please discuss below.

  • Flight From LiveJournal

    I heard from someone that nobody is on LiveJournal anymore, because of Facebook and staring at photographs of badgers and whatnot. I remember talking…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 11 comments

  • Lessons from Frank Sinatra

    New York, New York: If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. Therefore, if there's a place you cannot make it, you cannot make it in New…

  • An Open Letter

    Invert the Invertebrate is not a real game. This is not subject to discussion. Please discuss below.

  • Flight From LiveJournal

    I heard from someone that nobody is on LiveJournal anymore, because of Facebook and staring at photographs of badgers and whatnot. I remember talking…