"I have a problem," he says, "I inherited a winery from a distant aunt who just passed away, about a year ago. I've been making wine. A dark, dry red wine, almost black in color, mellow and restrained. It's won several awards, and I am finding that I love this work. The wine is popular and tremendously successful, because I adore it so."
"That sounds like the opposite of a problem," I tell him.
"I know! But here's the problem! The winery I inherited is in the Champagne region of France! My neighbors keep threatening me, telling me I should stick with sweet, white bubbly wines, like people have on New Year's Eve. I hate that crap! I get death threats, and the local Champagne police are extremely unsympathetic, dry and bitter."
"What you need," I say unhelpfully, "is a personality test!"
What is your gender?
Which would you prefer?
(The sharks outlived the dinosaurs, you know.)