April 19th, 2001


Some Facts You Didn't Know About Cigarettes

1. Every day, millions of people worldwide step over cigarette butts.

2. If you leave a cigar and a cigarette in a room alone together with romantic music playing, they'll reproduce and create tobacco seeds.

3. Before its psychoactive properties were discovered, tobacco was used to make dolls for children. Animated, talking dolls for children. Dolls which turned upon their creators. The tobacco doll uprisings were incredible. No adult survived.

4. Cigarettes are used as a sort of pseudo-currency in U.S. prisons. This is because most brands of cigarettes actually create or destroy tobacco within to stay at a constant value with respect to the U.S. dollar.

5. Smoking is bad for you.

6. In Korea, they don't say "cigarette". They say "담배". No matter how much I try to convince them it's really "cigarette", they just don't get it right. "담배" indeed.

7. A cigarette is called "light" if it's made from coalesced photons. A cigarette is called "filtered" if it contains no obscenity. A cigarette is called a "100" if it's over 100 miles long.

8. You can whisper your worries to a cigarette, and it will never criticize you.


(no subject)

While I was drivng home, I couldn't stop thinking...

"This phrase is stuck in my head."

...and then after a while, I also started thinking...

"No it isn't."