Somewhere At Sea
Like most Silicon Valley computer professionals, I'd actually rather be doing something else. Also, like most Silicon Valley computer professionals, the thing I'd rather be doing is being a pirate.
So last night I did more research.
Turns out that the UK never repealed their privateering charters. There's no less than sixteen chartered pirate ships which recruit in the Bay Area. The Buccaneers Brotherhood of the Carribbean never quite shut down, and made an IPO in '99. They still use sabers and flintlock pistols, but a lot has changed.
They removed the parrots from the ships because their insurance premiums would skyrocket - monkeys are still allowed for senior officers. No more peglegs, on account of the HMOs. The decks are well-swabbed and sanitary, and scurvy is no longer such a great concern. They'll still make you walk the plank, and will keel-haul you if needed, but you have a right to appeal to the First Mate. Rum, sodomy, and the lash are still permitted, but are discouraged as unprofessional.