October 6th, 2001


The Party Is Not Complete Until...

....someone has spilled a drink, someone has inadvertently insulted a stranger, someone has been painted on the face with Voodoo symbols in the manure of an unknown animal, someone has uttered a secret formula which binds the four Basic Physical Forces to the Four Noble Truths, someone has sold a Russian attack submarine during a casual make-out session, someone has had their hands replaced with wax, someone has cried, someone has laughed out loud for no reason at all, someone has recited the Bible verbatim, someone has discovered a new field of mathematics, someone has been blinded by wild and overwhelming orgone energy, someone has made pop-corn, someone has mad cop-porn, someone has altered the ecosystem irreversibly, someone has been excommunicated, someone has learned a prehistoric proto-language, someone has performed a dance which causes bone-shivers and unforgettable nightmares, someone has brewed a sauce so perfect the recipe cannot be meaningfully repeated, someone has closed their eyes and recited a story they've never heard which was told to one of their grandparents in utter secrecy, someone has grown triple-helix genetic structures, someone has turned into metal, someone has stolen fifty-four heads of sheep, someone has computed the True Name of God by brute-force calculation, someone has been in the kitchen with Dyna, someone has casually mentioned firsthand knowledge of four-dimensional spatial relations, someone has discovered underground tunnels, someone has donned tights and a cape and fought crime, someone has made threatening calls to a rival party across town, someone has fished in the bathtub successfully, someone has grown an extra set of knees, someone has had a change in skin tone due to benign subdermal plankton, someon has looked into a mirror and seen a face not their own, someone has climbed onto the roof and crooned show tunes, and someone has formed a barber shop quartet with a jaguar, a dead man and a blustery shade of pink.