October 13th, 2001

double

Kids These Days!

On the way home today, I passed by a roadside stand saying "VALIDATION". The local high school was having some kind of fundraiser, and, in the interest of supporting my community, I stopped to see what was up.

A kid in a Abercrombie T-shirt and a baseball cap approached my car with a friendly smile. "Care to make a donation?"

I asked what they were doing?

"Well, we custom-tailor moral systems here, to redefine your flaws as virtues."

Huh?

"Like, let's say you're vicious and rude. We'll tell you that you're honest, and that you put your worst side forward so people know what they're getting into. Or, maybe, you're passive-aggressive and whiny. We'll tell you that you work with people instead of against them, and that you're very sensitive to other people's feelings. If you're stubborn, we'll call you resolute. If you're prone to angry outbursts, we'll tell you that you're in touch with your feelings. And we'll sound like we mean it."

And people will pay for this?

"Thousands. People keep coming back. Would you like to make a donation?"