October 14th, 2001


(no subject)

The SATs changed a lot since 1990.

Rather than paper, the tests are taken with a higher level of technology. They skipped computers and went to the next phase of information processing: specialized eidetic proctors in hyper-receptive trances, droning the questions and absorbing the answers with razor precision. You still need a number two pencil, though.

In addition to math and verbal, there are now sections for Kung Fu, Voodoo and Parthenogenesis.

The tests are now easier, or maybe people were dumber in 1990.

In 1990, when you pulled out a pistol and demanded people help you with the test, people helped you. These days, they're ready for it.

There are six doors. The iron door watches; it is alive. The room is a hexagon - a place of bees, soap bubbles, and strange echoes. You will not leave the SAT room alive. You will not take the test. You will not see the black widow. There will only be laughter, and then silence.

Um, what was I talking about?