This morning, I was jogging, when I happened across a pile of bagels.
No one was around, and the bagels were neatly stacked in a pyramid. Someone had painted an eye inside the hole of each bagel. I was feeling hungry and morally bankrupt, so I picked one up (not the top one, of course), and kept jogging, when I happened upon a neatly stacked pyramid of smoke salmon, with an eye at the top. Still more interested in food than the property of others, I slapped a few slices on the bagel and kept running. A few blocks later, there was a neatly stacked pyramid of blocks of cream cheese, each about one serving size, each with a little eye drawn on it.
When I saw the cream cheese, I flipped out and called the police, then dug a hole and hid in it.
It's a good thing this hole has a DSL connection, or I wouldn't be able to relate my story.