October 30th, 2001


Dove Tricks!

Have a dove? Try teaching it to do some of these tricks. Most of them should take around a week to teach. To find out how, borrow the "Teach a Dove Tricks" book I'm reading.

- Do the macarena.
- Not be glorified squab.
- Protect you from the impending doom you've known about since childhood.
- Wear sexy lingerie.
- Run a neighborhood syndicate.
- Eat goats.
- Speak Navajo.
- Vote Green.
- Talk to candles.
- Free Tibet.
- Attain satori.
- Implant cybernetics.
- Prove the twin prime conjecture.
- Enjoy "The Avengers".
- Spot yeti.
- Immanentize the eschaton.
- Grow tentacles.
- Own a pet dove recursively.
- Awaken garlic.
- Build a private lunar lander.
- Wage a just war.
- Support local music and film.
- Grease stairs.
- Drop bowling balls on your enemies.
- Repeat the secret Odin told Balder.
- Weave flax.
- Avoid all use of the letter 'e'.
- Groom tryants.
- Kill Moose and Squirrel.