October 21st, 2003


Name Mutation Disorder!

I went to the doctor's office. I filled out my name on the form: "Ghjddneb Lbstasist." The receptionist saw the name, and his face lit up with concern. "We'll put you to the front of the line."

Two minutes later, a doctor walked into the waiting room. "Tresnabso Lbs?" she called. I assumed that was me, so I followed her.

They subjected me to a battery of tests, and confirmed it. My original name had mutated from contact with some sort of language tumor. I was fortunate that I even had a name, the doctor said. She injected me with something.

The good news is that I recovered quickly. By the next day, I was just "Tresdb". Two days later I was "Tesd". By the weekend, I was "Ted" and I've been "Ted" ever since.

I liked my original name better. I just wish I could remember what it was.