January 9th, 2008


Swine Before Pearls

The aliens gave me a Christmas present today.

They say they're not aliens - they say that they're evolved humans from the distant future, travelling back in time to guide us along their own historical course of evolution. I think they just made that whole time travel thing up as an excuse for the fact that they're always late on gifts, but what can you do? Honestly, it's all the same to me.

Anyway, it's kind of a drawing.

"This is made from over ten trillion different colors, and designed to invoke over 40,000 different emotions. Each molecule was individually hand-crafted by the artist. Neutrino-sized lamps shine precisely to give a perfect sense of reflection in any light."

I felt a terrible sense of gratitude and embarassment -- the same feeling I get when drinking a very fine wine, or listening to advanced music, or drinking fancy coffee, or comparing classic motorcycles. My palette was not fine enough to appreciate the value of this thing. I don't think it was an Emperor Has No Clothes Thing, mind you. I believe them about its quality, but...

...to me, it just looked red and kind of wonky.

O, how we swine regret ourselves when we're faced with such pearls!

(P.S. I got them this tie. It's red too.)