August 26th, 2008


(no subject)

  • At midnight, I was surfing the cool moonlit waters of Santa Maria, to impress the lobster-men on the shore.
  • At twelve-oh-one, I was on a conference call to a German law firm, brokering the purchase of a significant amount of longevity drugs for their reptoid masters.
  • At twelve-oh-two, I was being chased by spitting llamas through the closed stores of the Danger Pets district of Portland.
  • At twelve-oh-three, I was convincing a robot friend of mine to chug back a smoking cauldron full of unknown chemicals.
  • At twelve-oh-four, I was painting my great aunt's house with weather-safe ecru coat in preparation for the fall.
  • At twelve-oh-five, I was trying to floss all the bits of haunted celery from between my teeth.
  • At twelve-oh-six, I was lounging in a sensory deprivation tank, pretending it was still eleven-fifty-nine.
  • At twelve-oh-seven, I was working hard in the salt mines of Alviso, Caifornia.
  • At twelve-oh-eight, I was drinking the world's best lemonade with a Russian mobster.
  • At twelve-oh-nine, I was studying the social habits of bats in an Orange County cathedral.
  • At twelve-ten, I was getting my third arm surgically removed.
  • At twelve-eleven, I was baking orange-mint-chocolate-chip cookies for the kids to eat in the morning.
  • At twelve-twelve, I was repairing that stupid aircraft carrier in my back yard.
  • At twelve-thirteen, I was staring at a clock, trying to figure out why the longer hand represents the shorter span of time.
  • At twelve-fourteen, I was playing drums for the troublesome pleasure of the Unseelie Court.
  • At twelve-fifteen, I was doing a final inventory of my live rare scorpion collection before sending it to my archrival.
  • At twelve-sixteen, I was signing execution orders for imaginary criminals.
  • At twelve-seventeen, I was a crocodile.
  • At twelve-eighteen, I was posing for a new coin.
  • Now I'm posting this.

So far, it's promising to be a fulfilling day.