September 12th, 2009


If you received this LJ entry accidentally, please delete without reading

I received an email today. I'm pretty sure the guy sent it to the wrong address.

From: Merovingiam Smith <>
To: Merovingiam Smith In The Distant Past <>
Subject: Inventions Notes

Here's my list for this week, self!

Teaching Cats To Walk On Ceiling Instead Of Floor: Teaching a single cat is enough. Cat can teach other cats in household and neighborhood. Within 2 years all cats on continent walk on ceiling instead of floor. Bolting cat furniture and food dish leads to extra floor space.
Overall rating: Good idea!

Downloadable Skills And Personality: Massive initial boost in productivity. Then someone releases (as free software) skill at coding all your skills, packaged with a personality committed to releasing it as free software. Within 2 years, all advantageous skills and personalities traits are freely available to anyone with a cheap, safe, simple skill-downloader device. Aside from physical capabilities, individual capabilities are obviated. Resources and job opportunities are distributed solely based on prejudice, nepotism, and bribery. Most of world relegated to a tiresome and somewhat cliché dystopia filled with extremely educated poverty.
Overall rating: Bad idea.

Time Traveling Email Over LiveJournal: Continues to work extremely well. Today, collected research from future selves to abandon many bad ideas. Continue to pass invention results back to past self for future development. Inventions avoided this week (due to future catastrophe) include: nanosharks, distilled evil, monkeyphone, temporal-paradox-powered sewing machine, origami eyeballs, ultrayogurt, negative-one-ply paper towels, and typographical-error-removing brain squids. Human species saved sixteen times over.
Overall Rating: Good idea!

P.S. Don't have the onion cakes when you go out for Chinese today. They were a little burnt.