October 21st, 2009



"This wine has no nose," the wine critic told me, frowning.

"Then how does it smell?" I asked.

"Oh!" the wine critic replied proudly, "The producers of the wine, after they removed all the wine's aroma, managed to set up a complex electrical system in the bowl of the wine glass that conducts in such a way that the wine itself has a virtual but fully functional central nervous system, arcing through the liquid in subtle but complex resonances to create true sentience. Then they added chemical receptors to the stem of the wine glass, to give the wine a complete and functional olfactory system."

"And you're going to drink it?" I asked her, frowning.

"It is one of the most expensive wines ever made," the wine critic replied, "but it kind of zaps your tongue."