Ted (merovingian) wrote,

Day One: The Crime Scene

Johnny Voodoo died as wildly and enigmatically as he lived. He was found in the basement of a Stanford professor of biology who'd recently been fired (despite tenure) for publishing a paper on "Cloning As Sympathetic Magic." The professor had been on vacation on the Island of Yap for the past six months, and told the police in a phone interview that he did not know Johnny Voodoo.

Johnny was simultaneously hung and impaled with a spear. He was wearing a bodysuit painted with the faces of every President --

--check that. On careful examination, every President *except* Teddy Roosevelt --

and his laptop was on nearby, displaying a repeated movie image of a single white candle, burning down in fast-motion.

There was a suicide note, written in flawless Navajo but not in Johnny's handwriting, claiming that Johnny was committing suicide because he "loved baseball, lightning storms, invisibility, and walks on the beach." The two doors were locked from the inside, with large, cheap, antique padlocks which had recently been added to the doors. There were no windows in the basement.

So here's the questions I have:

Why was the candle-burning video recorded in QuickTime, when the laptop was not an Apple?

What was Johnny Voodoo's connection to Teddy Roosevelt?

Johnny Voodoo *hated* the Navajo language and made it no secret. If the suicide note was a fake, how did the writer know Johnny loved invisibility and walks on the beach? If the suicide note was genuine, how did Johnny learn Navajo so quickly?

Why lock the doors from the inside, when the locks were so easy to pick?

Where was Johnny's trusty portable blender and margarita mix, which he kept on his person at all times?

Why didn't the police put up any yellow tape marking the crime scene?

Oh, I guess it's also important to find out....


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