Ted (merovingian) wrote,

Shopping Heaven

When they said it was the Ultimate Shopping Experience, they meant it. It took me a while to figure it out.

The selection of products was amazing. The prices were pretty good, but the incredible quality and glamour made everything an incredible value. Fashionable name brands at prices better than wholesale!

After I'd paid, they came for me with the lethal injections.

"We wanted your last shopping trip to be especially nice," they said sweetly as they held me down.

Ultimate Shopping Experience isn't advertising hyperbole, or braggadocio. It's a threat.
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