Ted (merovingian) wrote,

Attack of the Zombies

What to do if you are attacked by the Zombies:

1. Make a mad tear for Hugh Grundy. Drummers are often the most vulnerable.
2. Ask them questions. "What's your name?" or "Who's your daddy?" will get them thinking about you as a person, and perhaps leaving you alone.
3. If you wait him out, the lead singer may eventually form an eponymous band instead.
4. Tell them about the way she looks, the way she acted, the color of her hair. That will confuse them and allow a getaway.
5. Mix equal parts of light, golden, and dark rum with apricot brandy, plus pineapple and papaya juice. Add a half-part of 151 rum and a dash of Grenadine.
7. In your head, they're still fighting with their tanks and their bombs and their bombs and their guns.
8. I'm not sure why they have bombs twice. They just do.
9. When you survive, ask Joyce Carol Oates to write a story about it.

Hope this helps!
Tags: zombies
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