Ted (merovingian) wrote,

Did I say I was attacked by zombies? I meant that I went to a Promenade. It was the grandest. It turns out that zombies cannot harm you while you're carrying a parasol.

Other things that will keep you safe from zombies:
1. Riding a frog, ostritch, tiger or monstrous sea horse.
2. Drinking tea from an olive oil bottle.
3. Wearing zombie-protective goggles and/or bustles.
4. Clicking the Checkbox of Protection!

Poll #1004587 The Checkbox of Protection

(please do not check this box if you would like to be attacked by zombies.)

Yes! I'd like to be kept safe from zombies forever. I understand that this is a one-time offer that cannot be cancelled, except I suppose by taking this poll again. Please sign me up!
Yes! Regardless of my zombie preferences, I enjoy checking extraneous checkboxes.

5. Yo-Yo Powered MP3 Players.
6. Matteo Ricci, who never was attacked by zombies his entire life.
7. Nitrogen.
8. Lists and good planning.

Hope this helps!

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