Ted (merovingian) wrote,


Last weekend, I was hanging out at Denny's with some friends from out of town and we got to talking about politics. The conversation went on for quite a while, and eventually I had to say goodnight.

I just heard from one of my friends there. He left me voicemail:

"Hey Ted, thanks for hanging out, sorry you had to leave early. We actually finished up our conversation. I mean, with complete resolution of all issues discussed. The role of government, the morality of abortion, the meaning and existence of altruism, the tragedy of the commons, the justification for war - all of it. We came up with definitive answers to each question which are fully compatible with every existing political creed, but specific enough that they give simple, commonsense steps to implement. It turns out all it took was to keep arguing and talking about it for about five days straight. Call me back! I'll tell you all about it."

I called him back but he said he'd talked with everyone else there and they'd sold the whole thing to the U.N. for a trillion dollars but now he couldn't "spoiler" it and I'd have to wait.

"I'm actually sick of talking about it, too, at this point," he added.

Fair enough, friend, but let me tell you this: next time you're in town you are totally buying my Moons Over My Hammy.
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