"Do I have to shave the goatee?" he asked, and of course I said no. It's the crime that's the problem, not the goatee.
We're both worried he might be a robot. I'm also worried that maybe I'm the bad twin, and he's worried that maybe he's just trying to earn my trust to betray me later, without even realizing it.
But we're working on it. It's a new year, you know?