However, I'm on record (many times) as saying that the solution to this is education, competitive markets, and enforcement of existing laws. I am opposed to attempts to disrupt the tulip trade with robust "pest species." I do not agree with these tulip-killing methods.
Skeptics among you have demanded proof, and I find these petulant demands offensive and mistargeted. It is injust that I even need to do this, but I will see this nonsense put to rest. I offer incontrovertible proof:
- This masked man wears a red mask.
- I wear blue jeans.
- Anyone who tried to wear a red mask with blue jeans would be far too tacky to commit such stylish crimes.
There. Now that my innocence is proven beyond any sane doubt, let me say this: I predict that if tulip-speculators continue their irresponsible ways and endanger the fragile finances of my generation, this masked man — who is not me — will probably flood their precious greenhouses with tulip-eating butterflies, or something of the sort. Possibly about fifty thousand trained Blue Morphos.
Of course I do not condone such a crime, no matter how well-justified. Ending the cynical and corrupt "tulip boom" before it gets big enough to cause harm is a noble goal. However, I only condone accomplishing this goal through peaceful means, not the unethical yet fabulous methods of this stylish vigilante. I'm merely making predictions here.
I'm glad we could clear this up.