The robot gestured at me with his cigar and said, "Listen, kid, never talk with your past self. Believe me, your past self will ask you about all his problems, and they will all just sound so unbelievably adorable that you'll say something patronizing, piss off your past self, and wind up a robot."
"It would be cool to be a robot!" I said back in protest.
Then I noticed we had the same Social Security Number.