Ted (merovingian) wrote,

A list of things that it is very hard to convince a shark to do.

  • It is very difficult to convince a shark to sit through a performance review, even if the shark could get a large increase of salary from it.
  • A shark won't tell you honestly whether it likes your poems or not.
  • Sharks are very hesitant to wear formal attire.
  • You will have a hard time getting a shark to reconstruct Special Relativity, using the lightbulb-on-a-train scenario and the Pythagorean theorm.
  • You can't get a shark to watch your hamburger and make sure no one steals it.
  • Sharks rarely are willing to reminisce with you, or tell you how their day was.
  • Everyone likes vacations, but you can't get a shark to make concrete plans to travel with you.
  • Nobody has ever convinced a shark to become their jogging or workout buddy. Not once.
  • Even if everyone votes in agreement, a shark won't wait for a complete action plan before moving forward.
  • If you want to do a mix-tape swap, don't ask a shark.
  • You may be able to convince a shark to go to the art museum with you, but it won't be easy.
  • Don't even bother trying to get a shark to start an online crafts business with you. A shark will flake every time.
  • Oddly, you can't even get a shark to play a game of pool with you.
  • You will have difficulty convincing a shark to use language or comprehend the entire process of "convincing."
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