Let me go back a little. You're entitled to a full explanation by now, after you've supported me for so long without ever knowing what I was doing. I couldn't tell you, then, of course, even though I know I should have, but now that I've been caught, I owe it to you all.
I think you all know I've been getting into candymaking, but I never admitted how far I've gotten.
I have a fondness for dark chocolate, the darker the better. When 85% cocoa wasn't enough, I mixed 90% instead. Then 95%, and then 98%, and then 100%, and I still wanted more. 110% was exhilirating, but the impossible thrill just hastened my descent.
And it just got more and more chocolatey delicious the further down I went.
By the time the police caught me, I was making chocolate that was 4000% cocoa. I was tampering with forces of darkness I couldn't possibly understand.
They say I was risking everyone's lives in my chocolicious experiments, that I went too far, but I have no regrets. I'll sleep easy tonight, and dream of 4001%.