Talking Cactus: Breakfast Edition

"Opinions are like bellybuttons," my talking cactus told me, "because they were used to carry nutrients to the fetus in utero, and they are prone to infections when pierced."

"You know," I said back, "I know I should be impressed that you can talk at all, but it would be nice if you made any sense, like the saleswoman promised."

The cactus replied proudly, "Six monkeys makes an orchestra!"