Ted (merovingian) wrote,

When I went through the gate this morning all I could do was watch the clouds. I tried to count them but they would merge and separate, seeming to foil my counting out of sheer cloudish orneriness.

Once past the gate I was in the garden and the little robots in the garden all called out to me as I passed. Come play with us, they said, We're robots!

As I left they were singing a tinny little sing-song melody, in a hapless but adorable attempt at harmony.

Then I got to the street. Someone had changed my car into a giant kangaroo -- street crime is getting very common in San Francisco -- but how could I complain? I hopped on the convenient kangaroo saddle, turned on the stereo that was conveniently placed on the saddle horn, and shouted "Giddap!" to my giant kangaroo.

When we rode out to the freeway, there were no cars there. Only marsupials, hopping quickly down the lanes. They would honk at traffic jams. They would hiss when cut off. A police kangaroo with a siren on her forehead, ridden by the CHP officer, would sometimes ride up and box with other kangaroos who were hopping too fast.

When I got to work, I found that my job had changed. Now I'm in charge of finding peoples' restaurant behaviors.

When you choose a place to sit in a restaurant, what algorithm do you use? (And why?)

Try to keep my back to a wall and face as many people as possible, because I'm paranoid.
Try to avoid blocking walkways, and also avoid crowding other people, because I don't want to be in the way.
Try to be sure I'm on the left side of the table, because I'm left-handed.
Try to sit on a certain side of the table, because I need everyone on one side of me.
Try to take a seat nobody else seems to want, because I'm accomodating.
Try to take a spot that's most accessible, because I have accessibility needs.
Try to sit next to a particular person, because I need to take care of them, or maybe because I just like sitting next to that person.
Try to sit where I can get in and out easily, because I'm going to need to get up and come back a lot.
Try to sit facing north, because I'm a north-going Zax.
Try to sit in the most comfortable or sturdiest chair, because I need a sturdy or comfortable chair.
Try to sit wherever's closest, because I don't much care.
Something else (detail below)

...and this is the "below" where you detail "something else."

How would you react differently if you were choosing a chair at a restaurant, and there were thousands of adorable little robots singing and asking you to come play with them?

Please select one of the following.

Biscuits with gravy.
A car made out of cloth and buttons.
The Magna Carta.
Six thousand telephone.

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