"Every time I feel confused, I add another apple to the stack," he told me, "and hopefully the stack of apples will some day get so high that all confusion, everywhere in the whole world, is eliminated. Then we will all live in perfect enlightened clarity."
"Uh, I don't think a stack of apples can dispel confusion just by being big," I replied.
He put another apple on the stack.
How did this guy ever become captain of a pirate ship, anyway?