Ted (merovingian) wrote,

Secret Job Fair

Turns out the Secret Job Fair was in the sewers this time, and, of course, you needed to know the password ("A Toast To Evil!"). Here's some of the jobs I applied for:

"Before" Photographer: Responsible for making sure that the subject looks attractive only in potential, and mostly just kind of frumpy and gray and in need of beauty products.

Sandwich Photographer: Responsible for taking a set of ingredients in a mass-marketed fast food sandwich or other dish, and making a photograph of a much more appealing product, while still using technically the same ingredients.

Fundraiser Candy Reseller: Responsible for going to junior and high schools and pitching why it's worthwhile to buy mediocre candy bars for fifty cents (well over street price) and then sell them to your friends for a dollar. Also responsible for cheap yet appealing-to-kids promotions and rewards for high sales.

Insurance Statistician: Responsible for calculating, based on the few legal facts thta be collected by insurance, how much to charge to make it statistically guaranteed that insurance will just barely not be worth it to be.

Casino Interior Decorator: Another statistical field. Responsible for spooky psychology studies to maximize money-milking slot machines and compel people to want to use them.

Wish me luck!
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