"IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: This product is offered on an as-is basis with no warrantee of merchantibility or fitness of purpose, nor warrantee of safety. Improper use could lead to death or far, far worse. Exercise extreme care when using this or any product; eternal vigilance is your only hope of survival. Even a moment's distraction from a life of constant terror is a dangerous lie, and you will reap sorrow a thousand times whatever respite you may have expected. We are already dust and shadows, our names forgotten and our greatest works turned against us. By using this product, you agree to indemnify the makers from any liability for this final, terrible truth."
Ever since the legal team came back from their department outing, it's been awkward. They won't talk about where they went or what they did, but something's not quite right.