Ted (merovingian) wrote,
Ted
merovingian

Thank you for not killing me!

I know there's a risk that I'll accidentally spark a nasty Internet debate on the subject just by saying this, but I need to say it anyway:

I prefer stalagmites to stalactites.

I have a lot of reasons and today I encountered yet another. I was in a cave aging cheese today, when two stalagmites started talking with me.

The first stalagmite said, "You know, I'm always interested in giving both sides of any issue an equal share of time, even when one side has a point and the other doesn't. That is why, for instance, I have bumpers stickers that read DON'T EAT BERTHA'S MUSSELS and ITHACA IS NOT GORGES. I have noticed that there are quite a few songs about how good and positive music is, but none that dare to speak out against music. Why does the pro-music establishment fear the voice of those who are against music so much that they maintain this campaign of suppression and silence?"

I nodded in thought in response to that, "Well, maybe it's just that anti-music people don't, you know, go into songwriting much. I suppose, though, that all the authors who talk about how great a book is, and all the doctors who discuss going out and getting more exercise, are making an anti-music message, because they're advocating doing something else with your time instead. Does that count?"

The second stalagmite said, "Perhaps I could try to rephrase and clarify what my fellow stalagmite was saying, and put this another way. Consider if you will an iceberg, its every phase and aspect. You're probably thinking about how an iceberg is much bigger under the surface than above, and that only the tiny tip of the iceberg shows. That's all people ever talk about when they talk about icebergs. What about the icebergs history? Or the dubious questions about whether it froze in the water, or cracked off from a glacier? What about the way it reflects and refracts light? Or the variable amount of cloudiness in it? Or the question of other substances dissolved inside the ice? Or what it feels like for an iceberg to travel? There's a lot more to an iceberg besides the fact that only 10% of its mass goes above water."

I shrugged, "I guess the whole 'tip of the iceberg' thing is just the tip of the iceberg about icebergs."

Then I had some cheese.

Which do you prefer?

stalactites
14(58.3%)
stalagmites
10(41.7%)

You may use this text box to make bitter and vicious personal attacks against those on the other side of the stalagmite/stalactite question. However, I certainly don't encourage it.



Thank you for not killing me. Every day so far!
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