Ted (merovingian) wrote,
Ted
merovingian

Art Cars

Art cars. You know the ones I mean: the highly decorated cars you see on the road, or around the neighborhood if you live in a hipster district. Maybe it's a car decorated to look like a shark, or covered with Fischer-Price toys, or a scale replica of a Goliath beetle that's constructing a clockwork time machine. You know the ones I mean.

There aren't enough superstitions about them. I hope to help with that.

1. If you break into an art car, you will have bad luck for one year, and bad taste in music for the rest of your life.
2. If you eat ice cream in an art car, that ice cream will lose its innocence.
3. After all the people leave Burning Man, the art cars remain, wandering lonely, wondering why the desert is suddenly so empty.
4. If you're stuck in traffic behind an art car on your way to work, you will soon lose your job and get a new one. Depending on how much you like your current job, this may be a blessing or a curse.
5. If a librarian drives an art car, you can attain enlightenment just by talking with him or her.
6. If you get into a car accident with an art car, no matter how large or small, you won't have any dreams for a week.
7. If two art cars collide, the drivers exchange destinies.
8. Dogs and cats cannot smell art cars.
9. Art cars can cure warts and hiccups, but no one is sure how.
10. Every minute you sit in an art car as a passenger, all your enemies spend three minutes in an elevator.
11. If you make a VW bug into an art car, it will come to life, and also never forgive you.

And that is how the pecan pie turned into a blender.
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